$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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