what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
