She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
