Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
