i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
