Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
