The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
