I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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