I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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