ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
