I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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