I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
