Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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