You smell like stripper and shame
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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