how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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