Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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