Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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