dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
