I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Houston, we have a blender
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
