He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
