so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
