I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
