I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Be still, my beating vagina.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
