there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
