Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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