yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
