Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
