I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
