he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
