hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
