is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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