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You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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