Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
im on a boat
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