Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
