Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
