So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
