these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
