He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
