and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
