She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
