I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
