he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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