this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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