If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
