I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
