The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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