Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
