You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
