k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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