Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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