She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
