I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
