I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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