Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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