I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The air taste purple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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